Cewe dan Buku

Cewe Itu Kaya Buku

Menurut gw, cewe itu bisa diibaratkan dengan buku. Cewe itu harus dibaca moodnya, gerak-geriknya, kebiasaannya, pikirannya, dan keinginannya. Cewe agak sulit mengekspresikan apa yg ada dibenak mereka secara utuh dan terbuka, mereka akan jauh lebih senang ketika cowo mampu membaca dan mengerti apa isi dari hati mereka tanpa perlu mereka ungkapkan sendiri.

Begitu banyak buku bertebaran di perpustakaan atau di Gramedia. Kita sebagai cowo bisa pilih buku mana yg sesuai sama selera kita. Sebagian cowo memutuskan untuk ga baca sebuah buku sampai habis ketika mereka udah mulai merasa kesulitan, bingung dan bosen sama isi buku itu. Cowo lebih mending berenti baca buku yg keliatannya mereka udah hopeless bacanya karena itu bikin mereka stress. Setiap salah mengerti dalam membaca keinginan cewe, pasti bakal terjadi konflik. Jadi, ya mending cari buku lain, kan?

Tapi sebenernya ga sesimple itu bro yg jadi bahan pertimbangannya. Soalnya setiap buku itu ngasih kita pengetahuan dan insight yg berbeda-beda. Kadang walaupun kita ga ngerti-ngerti sama isi dari buku tertentu, kita malah bisa jadi tambah penasaran dan pengen ngebaca sampai habis. Dan pastinya ketika kita milih buku buat dibaca, pasti dari awal kita pilih buku itu karena menarik buat kita, kan? Entah dari covernya ataupun sinopsisnya.

Tips Buat Si "Pemilik Buku"

Yang jelas kita perlu memutuskan bener-bener buku mana yang bakal kita baca. Jangan sampai nyesel udah ngehabisin banyak waktu buat baca buku tapi ujung-ujungnya ga suka dan cari lagi buku lain. Kalau kita ga suka sama buku yang kita baca, kita ga bisa merubah (menghapus atau menambahkan tulisan) isi sebuah buku yg udah jadi. Well kalaupun bisa, ceritanya ga bakal seoriginal yg udah dikarang si penulisnya.

Hal lain yang mestinya kita lakukan sebagai pemilik buku adalah sampulin itu buku yg rapih, supaya buku itu ga kotor kena debu, atau basah kena air. Jangan sampai buku itu robek. Makannya kalau pas lagi baca buku, balik halamannya pelan-pelan.

Supaya lebih gampang ngertiin isi dari sebuah buku, ambil stabilo. Garisin kata-kata yang penting dan krusial. Karena begitu kita udah nguasain inti dari buku itu, kita bisa lebih PeDe bawa buku itu kemana-mana buat cerita ke orang-orang sejauh mana kita ngerti isi buku itu.

Baca "Buku"

Saat ini gw lagi ngebaca satu buku yang ngajarin gw apa artinya "ketulusan". Cara ngajar buku ini unik, karena gw harus learning by doing, ada panduan prakteknya. Buku ini memaksa gw buat ngertiin arti "ketulusan" bukan dari teori aja, tapi praktek juga. Disamping itu, buku ini penuh sama yang namanya teka-teki buat dipecahin sendiri. Jadi ketika gw baca buku ini, gw dipaksa mikir banget sampe mentok. Buku ini bukan semacam komik ringan yang bisa dibaca tanpa diselamin dalem-dalem.

Gw udah beberapa kali hampir nyerah karena isinya ga gampang buat dingertiin. Ketika gw udah frustasi banget sama ini buku, gw memutuskan untuk ga baca buku ini dulu selama beberapa waktu. Dan setiap gw mulai lagi baca buku ini, ada baiknya gw baca dari bab 1 lagi pelan-pelan. Emang butuh extra effort. Tapi gw yakin kalau gw bisa baca buku ini sampai habis gw bakal bisa menguasai apa itu "ketulusan" baik secara teori maupun praktek.

Dulu gw sempet jadi pemilik buku ini. Gw bebas baca buku ini kapanpun dimanapun. Di kampus, di mol, di restoran, di kafe, di rumah, dimana-mana. Tapi sekarang udah ga lagi. Buku ini cuma bisa gw baca di toko buku aja. Nanti kalau gw udah layak jadi pemilik buku itu, pasti bakal gw beli balik. (Berharap buku itu ga dibeli orang lain duluan)

Cheers!

Two Sided YOLO

This recent popular acronym called YOLO (You Only Live Once) has been used over and over again by various ranges of people. Some of the young generations take it as their personal beliefs. Well, I find it interesting to observe the actual meaning behind the word YOLO itself. Although many use the same word, not all of them understand it with the same meaning.

The first group of people see YOLO as in “You only live once, bro. Have fun while you can. Have the guts to do crazy things. Never worry too much, just enjoy your life like a boss.” These people will try their best to please themselves while they can. They work their ass off to eat, drink, sleep, travel, sing, dance, shop, smoke, and all. I am not saying that these all activities are taboos, but we need to look deeper. What would be their motivations behind it? It seems like they are doing their best in life, their best to achieve self-satisfaction as long as they are still breathing. Since they believe when they die, they die. As if heaven would not provide any better things than this earth could.

The second group of people also agree that they only live once. Except they decide to create meaning towards their lives that will leave legacy after their death. Life is no longer about oneself, but others. They will absorb as much love, kindness, knowledge, energy, and wisdom and spread it around. Yes, of course they would still eat, drink, sleep, travel, like other normal people would do, but it is not their final destination in life. There are things much greater than to live thinking about how to achieve self-happiness, self-satisfaction. These YOLOers will make sure once they die, their positive influences don’t.

Now which kind of YOLO would you adopt? As you are reading this article it means you are still alive, as you are still alive it means you can still make decisions and changes. Last thing that I want to say to you is do not be so afraid to die that you never begin to live.

Cheers!

The Top 10 Crimes Leaders Commit

True leaders realize that they need to keep striving to be genuine leaders. It’s all started from the bottom, getting through the uncomfortable process, until they can reach a higher level of leadership they could possibly achieve. During the process leaders must have made mistakes. Some of the mistakes could be acceptable, but some others are just crucial. We need to get to know what are the most dangerous “crimes” committed by leaders in common.

I have conducted a little survey toward some leaders. I took some of the results into consideration in listing the top 10 crimes leaders commit. Here we go:

#1. Prioritizing self-interest over others’

Followers in general can easily determine whether the leader is being selfish or not. Even if the leader is sneaky enough in manipulating others to fulfill their own interests, it will eventually get revealed somehow. Once a leader loses his or her trust from their followers, the organization will be no longer working out. Keep in mind that your role as a leader is to embrace, develop, and protect your followers. Create a collective goal instead of personal goal. Share it around and make sure that your followers know that you are there for them, NOT for yourself.

#2. Acting too much like a boss

Yes, some leaders are to be the boss in the organization. But acting like “a boss” too much can irritate the people. Acting like one also gives you gap in terms of relationship. Followers need a leader who can also be friends with them. In order to be a good friend, a leader must lower himself to be “equal” with the people. There has to be a good listener within the team members. In fact, great leaders do not have to be bossy when they delegate tasks to the people. They know how to make their followers feel comfortable when delegating tasks.

#3. Being indecisive

Leaders cannot not make decisions. There are leaders who just don’t want to take the blame over the consequences of the decision he/she made, and I tell you that it is a crime for sure. Even in the most puzzling situation (a lose-lose situation for instance) leaders still need to decide. There is no such thing as neutrality, since there are always be pros and cons. Therefore, you might say that it is pointless trying to please everybody in the room. Decisions need to be taken precisely and firmly in order to make a good starting point.

#4. Hands down

Having too much interference will not make the people develop well. If we want to see our people grow, we have to be brave enough to let them make mistakes. Leaders should not be too often telling their people how to finish tasks. Let them be amazed with themselves as they eventually see that they can actually stretch out their potential to the maximum level. A great leader tells the followers where to look without telling what to see.

#5. Hands off

According to crime number 4, it is true that leaders should not have too much interference within the process. However, letting the people be out of sight is not a safety thing either. Leaders still need to play their role as a controller in the team. It is very important to make sure that your people are not going to go out of the track. What I am trying to point out is that great leaders know when they need to get in charge and when they need to back off from the process.

#6. Unwilling to serve others

Keep in mind that all individual is the greatest asset. Not money, not reputation, but people. Many arrogant leaders do not have the willingness to serve their followers and end up being disrespected, left out. You lose nothing by inviting your people to come visit your place and serve them with nice refreshment. Or, people would feel much appreciated if their leaders could spare some time to just sit and listen to their problem during any hard time.

#7. Done with learning already

The darkest hole a leader could fall into is the place where he/she thinks that they do not need to learn anymore. Even smart leaders never think that they are smart enough, therefore they will never stop learning. Once they decide to stop learning, apparently they stop growing as well. In fact, learning can be exercised anywhere, anytime. Start to observe little things around us. Observe not only with our eyes but also heart and mind. Wise leaders should never think that they are the most righteous among others.

#8. Getting stuck with status quo

We need to get used to with changes because everything in this world changes. The only thing that does not change is the change itself. If leaders get totally stuck with the existing status quo, they will surely be left behind. The comfort zone that has been settled over years is like killing you slowly but sure. We can hardly notice it, so stay away from our comfort zone by creating changes. And by changes mean improvement. Not every change is an improvement. Be careful that change could be bad or good, but not changing is definitely harmful.

#9. Failed to prepare the next generation

Every leader has the responsibility to create a long term plan regarding the sustainability of the organization. It will be very unfortunate if what has been built in an organization only lasts for couples of years. Good system and culture do not guarantee the success of organization sustainability. The most important thing that needs to be really well prepared is regeneration. The continuity of existing qualified leaders will sustain what has been developed rather than starting from 2-3 steps back every time there is a change in the leadership level.

#10. Having poor family relationship

Imagine that there is a leader who is quite successful in developing his/her company, yet never got time to play with their own children and never had some quality time with their spouse. Would you still recognize him/her as a leader? A great leader will never neglect their family no matter what. Family has to always come first. Those who are able to lead other people, must also be able to lead their family in the first place. Leaders that have poor relationship with their families are actually in a big trouble. They need to think once again what leadership is all about and start fixing their relationship with each family member.

Cheers!

The Power of Passion

Are you one of those who’s asking, “Am I safe?”, “What will my future look like?”, “Why am I not happy?” ? If yes, this splash of idea might be worth it for you to read.

Some youngsters live their lives as it is. Go with the flow. Take me where the wind blows. They don’t really seem to have some kind of direction or plan to face the future. Whatever they’re doing, they do it without putting their souls into it. It’s like driving around and around the city, enjoying the landscape, but having no certain destination. And finally, the gas will run out and those people will end up nowhere.

While some others live for wealth. They believe that happiness depends on how much money they have. Having a nice house, good cars, fancy clothes, and delicious food is a must in determining their level of happiness. This group of people is more determined than the first one. They know where to go and they know what they want. Money. The job they look for is the job that promising a position with great amount of cheque. Sometimes, if they are lucky enough, the job suits them enough. They should have no heavy burden to carry the job on. However, in certain cases, the job might lead them nowhere but boredom and even depression instead. The high payment they receive couldn’t just sweep away the pressure they feel.

The list of similar types of people can go on and on and on. Those who search for a job to achieve fame, position, self-pleasure, power, comfort, lust, you name it. Yet, these people have one common thing, it’s that they could never be satisfied with what they have gained. They all might seem happier on the surface compared to the other, but at some point, they will keep wondering where actually their lives are heading to. Eventually, they’ll realize that those things are definitely not the answer they’ve been searching for.

I’ve witnessed such scenario multiple of times in my whole life. And I don’t have to jump into the same hole to know how horrible it is.  Neither do you, fellas! Let’s learn from others and it is never too late to take a U-turn, for a better life.

First of all, we need to re-evaluate our goals in life. Make a goal that is noble and unselfish instead of the “vulnerable” one. “Vulnerable” refers to all the pointless life goals that I have mentioned above. Get rid of those temporary things and start to create a higher standard. You may have your own standard, but to me personally, there is nothing greater than to live your life for others in order to glorify God.

Once “the goal” is set, you might want to determine your passion. Never get mixed up between passion and hobby. A hobby is something you’d love to do without having to lose anything. You do a hobby for fun in your spare time. Whereas passion is something you don’t mind to die for. It is so powerful to drive your life become more alive that you’d make time for it instead of sparing your time for it. You won’t mind sacrificing your resource (time, effort, money, minds, soul) to do something that you’re passionate about. Your passion will become the trigger to make you a better person. That is passion.

Also, don’t get confused between your passion and your talent. You might be born talented with amazing voice, yet it doesn’t necessarily mean singing is your passion. A passion is what you enjoy doing more than anything. And when you’re doing it, it makes you feel like time goes so fast that you don’t feel like you’re working at all. Therefore, a passion should be powerful enough to make you train harder for it until you can master it. You might not be talented with it in the first place, but if it is your passion, it can make you be one.

Now, what if I’m not doing what I love to do at the moment? Well, let’s not be afraid of making extreme changes. Stop for a moment, think, make a decision, leave all the things seem pointless, and start doing “the right thing”. Some people might be against your decision. Let me tell you that it is normal. There will always be pros and cons. But the most important thing is that you need to be firm and open minded in the same time. Thank them for giving you all of their considerations towards your decision (it could mean they still care for you) and later you can explain your reasons to them. The most possible outcome is that there will be a mutual respect happening between you and them. Keep in mind that in order to challenge the status quo, we need to have a strong eagerness.

My expectation is, at the end you’ll find out that your life become much more fun and meaningful by living out your passion. Happiness is far beyond money. Success is not merely about being rich or famous. Don’t be slack with your life that you can measure it with some nominal, it is too damn worthy. Cheers!